‘Please…’

‘No.’

‘Oh go on…’

‘NO’

‘What harm could it do?’

‘I don’t want to, Balthier!’

‘You’ll enjoy it…’

‘Not as much as you will, and by the time you’ve finished I’ll only be half-done,’

‘That’s not true!’

‘Well what about last week? If I remember correctly you swooped in, took what you wanted and left me to clean up all the mess,’

‘Then make Vaan clean it up, I promise I’ll make it worth your while…’

‘Like I’m going to believe that!’

‘Why shouldn’t you?! A leading man is always true to his word,’

‘What about that amour Vaan loaned you? Where did that end up?! On a stall in the Muthru Bazaar!’

‘Well what did I buy you with that money?’

‘You were just trying to sweeten me up,’

‘I wish to gods you’d do the same…’

‘Oh for Occuria’s sake, Balthier!’ Penelo screams, ‘fine I will make you pancakes!’

‘Heavy on the sugar, light on the lemon…’ he remarks contentedly, sitting back in his chair as Penelo gets the frying pan he bought her out of the cupboard with an exhausted groan,

‘You will rot your teeth.’ She spits, cracking eggs into a bowl while imaging that they are mini-Balthier skulls,

‘Penelo?’ he interrupts haughtily, ‘I don’t want to eat a plateful of your hate, less scowling please,’ she accidentally flings an egg at his face…followed by a heavy sprinkling of flour as he regards the goo all over his clothes with an expression of disgust,

‘Oops…’ she comments spitefully as he narrows his eyes at her,

‘After you’ve fed me you are going to pay for that,’ he says darkly, wiping himself down with a wet flannel then flicking it at her so it catches her behind as she leans over the stove to fiddle with the gas ring,

‘OW!’ she screeches, irritably rubbing the stinging sensation on her ass, ‘you want me to poison you?’

‘If it is in pancake form then I’m quite content to die at your whisk,’ he replies cheekily, not noticing her slipping the silence powder into the mix…preparing a fate worse than a fate worse than death.